Startled In My Sleep  

I wake up in the middle of the night

I still see the shadows

Feel the sun burning me alive

The smoke rising from the barrel

The smell of rounds down range

So familiar of a smell that I can taste it

I look around in bed and realize where I am

Am I broke or distributed for wishing I was back there

Instead of this warm bed with my wife and kids

I don’t move as not to break the silence of the night

I sit quietly in the dark

Sweating as if I were still deployed in the dessert

The beads of sweat mixed with tears as they run down my cheek

Feeling guilty

Feeling worst for remembering what human flesh smells like burning

My checks remember the sandstorms hitting my face

Trying to breathe through a gas mask

I sit in the darkness hoping to fall asleep

Feeling alone and scared

Wishing I had my weapon next to me

This is the place I find myself

Wonder if my brothers are going through this

Or am I in this alone

Day #262 SJD © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.