Why I Stopped

antique-blur-close-up-699785.jpg
I know why I started now
But remembered that I once stopped
Ages ago when I was a kid
All I did was write
Some of that shit was good
Most of it was trash
I think I even wrote a rap
Thinking back I stopped but why
Fear of rejection
Putting yourself out there
Only to be slapped around
I put the pen down
Boxed up all of my papers
Even the scraps with writings
Locked them away
The feelings were still there
I forced myself to stop writing
Stopped that which I used calm my restlessness
I was forced to restrain it
Swallow it and not say shit
I grew up slowly
Left home to see the world
And even saw war
Came back a troubled man
With dark secrets
And even darker ghosts
I wasn’t left with much
I started to write
This time I didn’t care if anyone read it
Didn’t care if they critiqued it
I didn’t want to part with my outlet again
Didn’t want to force myself to be quiet
Needed a voice to tell my ghosts to shut the fuck up
I didn’t fear showing my work
I feared feeding my ghosts through my silence
I will starve them
And feed my soul through my writing

Day #216 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s