Segundo Juan Devora

I’m dying inside 

Dying from my inability to create

Create my ideas, my passions, my dreams 

Make them reality 

Working on others’ dreams 

Shelving my future

Not bitter but rather feel my soul rotting 

Ideas rotting from just sitting out in the open 

No efforts to bring them into existence 

Aborted before even being given a chance 

Before life was even breathed into them

Because I was to busy working on the dreams of others

No time made for what clearly is part of my soul 

To make it worse I judge those who give up on their dreams

They at least tried 

I’m not sad but rather depressed 

No one to blame but me

I have all the power in my life

And I’m giving it to others 

To control my time and my future 

Is this what a chained dog feels like 

Controlled by masters

Have I not learn I’m the master of my life 

To live and die at the same time

Live to work for others 

While my passions and dreams die 

Depression is born in this place

I’m dying by my own hand 

I’m left to revolt against myself 

The weaker the two wolves must die 

The stronger one will break from his chains

He will run free, his time belongs to him

Living for his dreams 

Today I stop dying inside 

I will create my life, on my terms, on the foundation of my dreams

Day #213 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

Motivation fades

It abandons you in adversity

In the toughest moments

Motivation is nowhere to be found

It makes you feel good

But only in the beginning

In the middle of the struggle

Motivation becomes a ghost

What remains is discipline

It stays with us in defeat and success

On the verge of giving up

Discipline clinches our teeth and pushes us through

Discipline embeds itself deep within us

Part of who we  become is through our discipline

Determination is birthed from discipline

It gives life to overcoming, to success, to looking past the failures

Discipline stands where motivation once stood

Motivation might start the journey

Discipline sees the journey through to the end

Day #212 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

 

I once walked on a road that was crowded

Everyone was going to the same place

They all wanted the same things

All thought the same way

More and more people would everyday

The more that joined, the more I felt uneasy

I couldn’t breathe, as they sucked the air out of life

Soon I realized we all looked alike, dressed alike and agreed on everything

Not because we believed those idea, but rather to fit in

One day I stopped and turned around and faced the crowd

The stares and looks I got

I could hear people mumble and talk about me

They wanted me off the road because I was not the same

I pushed my way through, bumping people in my path

I didn’t care to be like them or even dream like them

I couldn’t do this anymore, not even for one more day

I stepped off the road and walked in my own direction

I was done being liked, and trying to fit in

Today I stood out and stepped out on my own

No longer caring about being alone

It’s better to be alone, than in bad company

Day #211 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Rambling to be heard

Words put together to garnish attention

No rhythm or reason for the writing

Just filling empty pages with empty words

Thoughtless sentences and meaningless paragraphs

The pages just shells with no substance

The words just letters on a piece of paper

Who would want to listen

To mindless nonsense of a unknown writer

All this runs through my mind

Before I even type one letter

I look past the negativity and doubt

Let my fingers fill the white pages with bricks of black letters

I’m building something from scratch

It will mean something when completed

I write ignoring the biggest hater, myself

Write past all the doubt

Write because I need too

Day #210 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

Tortured souls belong to broken people

Too often troubled by their past

Holding onto ghosts as if for dear life

Reliving painful moments

Instead of letting go

Chained to the same path

Unable to break free

No way around what haunts us

Wearing fake smiles to fool the public

Trying to ignore what bothers us, in hopes it will go away

They manifest in explosions of angry for the most minute things

We never bother to share what plagues us

Hide it in the dark, never to shine a light on it

It will go away, and if not I will just ignore it

Primitive our solutions, and ineffective too

Imaging try to piece together a broken vase

Whose pieces just keep breaking even more

The momentual task that a broken person faces

Only further complicated by a reluctance to ask for help

Just another burden to take

It puts more pressure and weight on the broken

Causing the vase to break even more

We are the people of the broken vases

A puzzle waiting to be solved

Day #209 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

We settle out of fear

Fear that we won’t make it

That our goals are too unattainable

That this might be the best it gets

Dreading to try, for I might fail

The path I have chosen is safe

It’s simple and uncomplicated

The sad truth that it’s not me

That life was never meant for me

I was made to face challenges

To fall and get back up

To be laughed at, ignored, forgotten and doubted my whole life

Be relentless in my choices

Greatest moments are derived from our deepest failures

Learn to fail often

Learn to get up faster every time

Understand it will be difficult

But I was meant for it

Day #208 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

Today I failed

Not for the lack of effort

Or lack of trying

Because it’s part of the process

Nothing I did helped

But it wasn’t supposed too

I hadn’t learned what I needed to know about this part of life

It wasn’t clear until I failed what I was missing

Today I failed

Not because I didn’t want it enough

Because it’s part of my process to success

Day #207 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

The truth is not bitter

It’s just the truth

The only bitter part is how it tastes to us

Our senses are dull from high expectations

And when reality destroys those expectations

The truth appears bitter

It’s only our perception

The truth is not brutal

The only brutal part is how sensitive we’ve become

We perceive only our problems as relevant

When a harsh reality outside our bubble presents itself

We blame the truth for its brutality

The truth is just the truth

The brutality is just our perspective

The truth is not to blame for our lack of acceptance

Trying to dispell it will not change the fact that it’s true

It wasn’t made to prove your point

To make you feel better

It is simply meant to be true

Accept it

Tolerate it

And learn from it

Fighting the truth is like pissing into a hurricane

You will end up wet from either the rain or piss or both

Day #206 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

What good are we

If we aren’t free

Constrained to these rules

Arbitrary rules created long before we were born

Made by people who served their own interest

So why follow such rules

When those who created them didn’t

Rules that were meant to incarcerate me with imaginary chains

My life no longer my own

Who does my freedom belong too

Corporations are the holders of the imaginary chains 

We learn Algebra II in high school

But never learn finance or money

The very thing that makes our world turn

We are blind and uneducated

Our poverty is due in part to our miseducation

To be free doesn’t me out of real chains

But rather to be free from even the imaginary chains

Almost no man has freedom

Those who think we do, are wrong

They only look at their wrist for proof of chains

Work your 40 plus hours to pay for the very rules that take you freedom

Who lied to us

Freedom isn’t free and neither are we

Day #205 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

Far away lies a place

Unlike where I live

This place is surrounded by tree-lined valleys

On a cool early morning, the fog swallows up the trees

It feels like walking through a cloud

This place is quiet

In the distance, you can hear the river

The silence is broken only by the sounds of nature

This place smells fresh as if cities never existed

Things are simple in this place

All you will ever need is in front of you

This place is my escape

My goal is to one day live there

Leave the city life behind

Return to this beautiful place

Spend all my days in the clouds

Day #204 SJD
Copyright © 2019 Segundo Juan Devora. All Rights Reserved.